So this past weekend I headed up to Memphis to surprise my mom. My dad and I had been collaborating on this for 6 weeks now. I would leave work early, drive to Memphis and surprise my mom at the Crescent Club. All went as planned and she was shocked and excited to see me. I think she had to do a double take. It was classic. And of course, I loved it. I love being so sneaky sometimes.
Saturday I visited my "girls night group". When I lived in Memphis there were a group of 8 of us girls that would get together every Wednesday night without fail. So I woke up at 7 am to visit with them all morning. I then ended up meeting up with mom and we went and ate lunch with my best friend Catherine and we all headed to the Collierville Mall to do some shopping. Now I had not come to Memphis with the intention of shopping in the least. Well, those plans quickly flew out the window. I ended up hitting all the sales and we shopped for 5 hours! I didn't come home empty handed to my husband though. He got two shorts and two polos out of the deal. (I'm such a sweet wife!)
Sunday morning I looked forward to the most. I couldn't wait to go to Living Hope for church. I knew so many of these people from the old Germantown Baptist and it just felt like home. Bill Christian delivered the message and spoke on being an "investment partner". He talked about how we need to be able to come to a church where we aren't afraid to show our flaws because we know we'll still be loved. He made the point that we all need someone in our life that we can call and say "I NEED HELP" and have them listen. He just went on and on about how we need to be that to someone else and have someone like that in our own lives. That hit home for me. The last few months I have really been struggling with our move to a new town and church. I felt stolen from in a way. At the end of our time in Memphis Chad and I were really developing some awesome relationships with people and investing in eachother. I had my girls night out group and Chad had his accountability partner and staff from Germantown to lean on. I thought to myself (and said it out loud to Chad frequently) that if the Lord is blessing us with all of these amazing people and relationships then why would he want to uproot us from all of that?! I was angry. We moved January 12th to Oxford and since then I have felt an emptiness of relationships everyday. Going back to Memphis really gets all those angry and bitter emotions stirring. I honestly feel as if I can't help it! Yes, selfishly, I desire so badly to be back in Memphis where I'm comfortable! But I'm to the point where I'm crying out, "I NEED HELP". I'll be honest, I have had the roughest 4 months of my life lately. Don't get me wrong, Chad has been great. He's been supportive and sympathetic towards my feelings. I just have a hard time with being away from Memphis and everyone in it. So anyway, back to Sunday. As I drove down the road after leaving my parents house I just started bawling my eyes out. I couldn't control myself. I just felt so sick. So I made an "I NEED HELP" call. I called my "investment partner" and just cried like a baby. I continuously kept saying "I can't leave, I can't go back, I just can't do it". When I leave a city and head back to where my house and husband are, I want to feel as if I'm going "home". I didn't feel that way. I felt as if I was leaving "home". And I didn't like it. I cried, ranted, cried, sniffled, talked and laughed a little. My "investment partner" encouraged me but yet let me cry and rant and cry some more with it all ending up in laughter. I wasn't afraid to cry out for help. I vowed to myself that I wouldn't be afraid to cry out anymore. I will not be ashamed of my flaws and what I've been through. The LORD is with me and dwells in me. That's all I need to know. I just want to truly find where He is wanting me in life and just be a servant. Now, I'm not writing this so people will feel sorry for me. I'm writing this to let people know that it's ok to cry out for help! Please know that the Lord is continuously teaching. He never stops. I'm continuously learning. I'm almost 22 years old and definitely know that I will never know it all. All the time I want to know God's purpose in a situation. But it's not my decision whether he reveals it when I want or not. The Lord calls us to be still and wait. To pick up our cross and follow Him, everyday, whether we feel like it or not. That is what I'm going to do, everyday for the rest of my life. Please be encouraged that there is an "investment partner" out there for you. Seek them, vent to them, encourage them and most of all, accept and love them.
Thank you all for praying for Chad and I through this difficult time. We are learning constantly. We are so blessed to have each of you in our lives. God is so good!
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We are a newlywed couple who is striving to further the Lord's kingdom and seek His guidance in everything we do.
The Watson's
About Us
We are newlyweds learning more about each other and the Lord every new day. We have two adorable kitties that we treat as our "children" until the Lord calls us to have some of our own. Chad is now serving at Grace Baptist Church in Oxford, Alabama as the minister of music. I (Lauren) am now working as a designer and manager over the showroom with Webb Home. We as a couple are extremely laid back and love to laugh and have a great time. Our goal in this earthly life is that we will do everything the Lord calls us to do. Even if that does entail suffering. We just want to further His kingdom. Even if the waters seem to be way over our heads.
3 comments:
Hi Lauren,
I go to Living Hope.I think I met you once at GBC.David and I spent 21 years in the Air Force, we learned early on that any house can be a home.It will be what you make it.I left home for the first time at 19.Moved from Ca.to Wy.Talk about culture shock.We had 6 moves in our 21 years. Our son met his wife in Altus Ok. You never know why God is sending you to a new location.We had a saying,"Home is where the Air Force sends us".Yours can be Home is where God sends us.Home is now in G'town Tn.We have grown so much in the Lord since moving here 5 years ago.We have made great friends along the way.Even some investment partners.You will probably even make a new investment partner in Oxford.Enjoy your new home.God Bless You,
With Love Emily
There is NO WAY I can tell you I know how you feel, b/c I've lived in Oxford all of my life...however, I can tell you that I do agree with Amy, that God has sent you here, and he will continue to strengthen you and give you the courage you need to make it through. I've said, more than once, that you & Chad are awesome witnesses of following God's direction - none of the rest of us would have uprooted after only 6mos of marriage and moved that far away from family. I was alot older than both of you when I married, and I would have never DREAMED of that. Continue to draw on each other for strength, and look to Him for your needs...HE WILL SUPPLY!
Hey Lauren, let me just say how bad I feel after reading your blog knowing that Matt & I haven't returned Chad's calls! I PROMISE we're not avoiding the calls or anything--it has just been INSANE since we moved back--really even before then. And every time I think about calling back it's too late or a bad time or whatever. But enough with the excuses. We live in Golden Springs now, since June 1. We both really would love to get together with you two. I've been missing our married couple friends back in Carolina where we moved from, so I understand how you feel. It's a little different for us because we both grew up in this area (but that doesn't mean we don't recognize that Calhoun County isn't the most exciting place to live :) but it's still an adjustment since we haven't lived here in seven years. Anyway, I probably don't need to write a novel on here. We'll talk soon! My email address is bethany@bethanyblairdesigns.biz, and Chad has my cell. Can't wait to see you guys!
Bethany
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